With extreme resentment, profound laziness (I’m not writing one line of code for this), excellent wasteful jumbo services extravaganza (God these things are expensive, who is gonna pay for my imaginary cat’s food next month? If it staves, it will start to annoy me, wake me up in the middle of the night with an insatiable hunger that only a newborn’s mom can understand.) really, isn’t clergy work only reserved for those “worth” mentioning? Who cares about my goat’s poo except for the neighbouring goat and perhaps a curious stray dog that forgot about its duty. A Shepard dog is so much more annoying than an under one, with that naive sense of righteousness, I almost need some skim milk to wash down the clotted air in my throat.
I made a portfolio site, (urg, again)
The problem of having a subscription is always in adding stress to my future self and playing pranks on her since she is so forgetful. With my almost 20,000 unread emails, she is bound to have a slight heart attack at some point when she realises (again!) she is going to be charged with a surprising amount of debt that her disloyal past shrugs off with a “meh”. At the same time, proving myself wrong is such an exciting potential! I wonder who is keeping the score. June 1 Felli 0 June -1 Felli +1
I’m forever living the teenage rebel dream, dwelling in the space of cheekiness, (oh, it’s such fun to not give anyone any satisfaction of being predictable!) Yes, to reject for the sake of rejection! No, negate but maybe? If it is easy to eat and boost my ego, then my bedroom air would be less dense, more intense, leftover of burnt incense, full of false pretence, mama says be careful with impermanence. I said, they all broke up, no couple left in my circle, please stop trying to stuff my bedroom with immobile limbs and dissolute souls.
If it is important I prefer to remain silent about it, if it is not important then I can say an ocean, don’t talk to me about trauma, I smell rotten fish just as fine as my teenage self who played pranks on me. In the valley of lily, nauseatingly full of life perfume intensity, I say little fishy, where are you hurrying to, it’s better to forget about the existence of one another in the vast river and lakes. I stole this quote without ever understanding its anti-romantic context, but I will protest when someone brings it up. Because fishy needs water and lily needs air, I fare the land with Tony Judt who never will know that I tagged along.
Check
Check
Check
Deny and reject
Central bank of information please delete my registration, it isn’t worth keeping, let the grinding forces turn them to dust as they should be. Fulfil their destiny of being made once and forgotten forever, such is the Dao of portfolio.
Permenant and Pertinent Resi(st)dance 